I Cheated. I Wrote Through It. Here’s What Came Out.

Writing has been my refuge, so during the post-affair and early reconciliation I returned to the page and the solace of words again.

I tried different techniques. The Daily Practice from Anna of the Crappy Childhood Fairy. The expressive writing technique from James Pennebaker was helpful for processing certain events.

What helped most were the forgiveness logs. I read Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant several times. Besides loving his prose, I found loving myself impossible. But the forgiveness prescription stood out.

I wrote everything I’d done that needed forgiving. I burnt the paper because I’m a fire sign and find burning to be the best release. When I didn’t feel better, I wrote the list again. And again, and again.

The burning helped, but I still felt stuck. Then my husband said something that changed everything. He said that I had to forgive myself that started the forgiveness logs. His words brought up the prescription to “talk to yourself like a friend” from Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff. So, I took one item from my original list and wrote why I deserved forgiveness for that action.

This process was so transformative that I want to write 'Forgive Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It'—because I believe forgiveness comes before self-love.